Today I’m listening to: ‚Everything In Its Right Place’ by Radiohead
54 days of prayer. Endless thoughts and questions. Why? What was happening and how dark the darkness really had to be? Tears come unexpectedly, on the concert, at home, out in the bar. And I just hope you are in a good place and that you are safe and that you are strongly hugged. I will never forget you
Today I'm listening to: 'My Backwards Walk' by Frightened Rabbit
'...it takes more then fucking someone to keep warm'
The lost, the found, the ones on-the-way, all of them make sense but somehow the first group seems the most relatable.
How is it possible that we fall into old habits so easily. And how is it possible that there is no decency anymore, that people are so deluded that they don't even bother answering a silly message. I just feel like I'm knee-deep in shit but it turned into cement and I can't really escape it.
Paul Getty
Today I'm listening to: 'Mean to Me' by Emerson Hart
The stories unveil surprisingly. The most unexpected things happen when we believe that nothing more can actually happen. How to be a support to someone while being so far away. Are there any universal powers which connect us no matter how far apart we are? I surely hope so because there's a person now who needs my support. And I know it and I want to be for them. But I'm here, far, far away, realising what is supposed to be a dream come true. I'm stuck, I keep reminding myself that I should take this experience and embrace it, and use it and make it my biggest advantage. But there is a part of me which is also confused, in a sleepy existence which has been going on for quite a while. But if I don't use this experience I will be lost, this experience won't mean a thing or will it?
Today I’m listening to: 4am by Red Light Skyscraper
It became a sort of tradition that I write here somewhere around New Year’s. Maybe that’s because of all these thoughts tangled in my head or maybe it’s a way of trying to find answers in what is written. Either way it’s been a true adventure. Last year was tough, taught me a lot about myself, my limits and my dark sides. Veni, Vedi, Vici. It’s time to move on and make sense of all of it. Peace to you all
Today I'm listening to: "Landmines" by Sum 41
Somewhere along the way things didn't work out as I imagined they would. I was deluding myself so badly for such a long time. Is it true that when our lives are not in order and we don't feel like ourselves then our relationships hurt as well? Can others sense the lack of sense in one's everyday-ness?
Without words I feel like it's all a blur and I can't seem to wrap my head around it- am I mistaken or am I just on the verge of making one?
Today I'm listening to: "Stop the Clocks" by Donots
It seems that some negative events experiences and emotions are here to bring us back to the ground. Weirdly enough moments of sadness and helplessness cause me to stay grounded, go back to what is important, reflect, calm down and focus on these essential and basic things in life. After all these things keep us going and are the foundation upon which we can build our lives
Today I listen to: 'Be Be Your Love' by Rachael Yamagata
Still sitting under my skin. I try to take it out but it keeps bleeding. They say that if you have something in your wound you're not supposed to remove it because of the haemorrhage hazard. So I keep walking with it, afraid of bleeding to death. But 2024 will be the year without fear. No more fear, just being myself, doing my best, loving
