Today I'm listening to: 

It's the high time to take care about my own life. I've always compared myself to other people, I was jealous about abilities people. But actually I've never looked at myself as at somebody that is capable to choose alternative path. It's time to change some things.

Letting go

Today was the worst day of my life. I had to let go my best friend in the whole world. I don't know where would i be without her. She always was there for me. When I was sad she would come to me and try to cheer me up.
I hope you are in a better place.
Love you P.

Today I'm listening to: "Queen of Disaster" by Lana Del Rey

Hard times. Broken heart. No hope.

The place we all seem to know

Today I'm listening to: "Wolves (Act 1 & 2)" (from the Motion Picture "The Place Beyond The Pines") by Bon Iver 

All the problems which surround us are just the steps to the end. Sometimes we miss them, we fall, we lose faith but after all we get to stay alive. How much a single pearson can take? How much a single soul can actually take? I consider myself a very lucky woman. There are the days when I'm trying to look at my life from some distance. Just enoug to see how much I've got. I'm so gratefull for that. I really am.

Wild

Today I'm listening to: "Please Don't Cry" by Cigarettes After Sex

Standing in the door of solace I have to tell you about what I feel. I'm so afraid of what's going on right now. There is something that only I know. Something I can't tell anybody. I have to hide but since nobody here really knows me... I can be open I guess. I don't know what to do. I'm all by myself. What if I'm gonna be trapped forevr like this? Like a wild animal closed in some small and dirty cage. I don't want to live like this but do I have a choice? If they wanna catch me they will do that anyway

Passenger

Today I'm listening to: "The Passenger" by Iggy Pop

What a ride. Everything seems so new and exciting but on the other hand quite scary. Have you ever had this feeling that something feels so good but is so damn bad? Some keep sayin' that talking to other people helps. But what if I'm sick of talking? What if it is just gonna let me down? The only thing I would like to do right now is to smoke a cigarette and look at the sky full of stars...

Take a shot

Today I'm listening to: "The whiskey shakers" by Val Bauer

I hate being trapped. Fuck. Can't believe it.

The door is open. At least that's what they all say.

Today I'm listening to Headlights by Dispatch

Everything stands still. Dull noices. I can't hear anything besides my heartbeat. That's the moment when I realise that there is some reason for all of this. I just haven't found it yet. Might be tough time, relationship problems or just all problems connected into something more and more serious. I would like everything to be so simple, so easy as it was at the beggining. Now I'm drowning in my thoughts and I can,t find the way to be back on the shore. I thought I needed heli but I guess there is nothing and nobody that can help me. I have to help myself. After all "the door is open" so the only thing I've got to do is to come on inside.

Corroded mind

Today I'm listening to: "Drunk on the Moon" by Tom Waits

When people you trust are letting you down, when everything becomes shit, what can you do to deal with it? Get drunk one the Moon. That's the only way to overcome your frustration. Trust me with this.

Convention

Today I'm listening to: "Such Pretty Eyes For A Snake" by Magnolia Electric Co.

Odd things keep happening. Where is the respect for us? Are we worse then the others just because we are not so...CONTROLLING? Fuck it. Seriously. Why do they keep saying the stuff to bring us down. I do not understand it and I hate the way they are. By talking though I won't change anything. I shall probably should do something about it. Right now though the best thing I can do is just to keep my head high and never look down. Because it's perfectly alright to be mad and unocnventional. Being different in a good or in a bad way is alright. It just is.

Definitions

Today I'm listening to: "Breathe" by Pink Floyd

Sunset. Such an amazing thing to experience.
Strangers. New elemets to analyze.
Passion. Open heart.
Love. Comfort.
 Lately, I discovered that general and well- known definitions don't fix anything. They can just screw things up. Every one of us is one of the kind. Let's set our own limits. Let's live on our own conditions.

Jealousy and need for disappearing

Today I'm listening to: "Jelous" by Beyoncé

Lately I've made many mistakes. My secrets had been revealed and after that I felt like everyone is going to leave me, that I'll end up totally alone. I've been forgiven but still I feel like something is not right. I know that I need to pay for my mistakes but why it has to be so painful? I wish I could disappear for some time. Go away... Why do we hurt people that we love the most and why do they keep hurting us? I've got the feeling that in a moment I'm going to break into many pieces. 

Everytime

Today I'm listening to: "Hope I don't fall in Love With You" by Tom Waits


Everytime I hear the voice of Tom Waits something in my heart just cracks. Voice full of emotions, memories beautiful simplicity and endless love. There's something magical about his songs. 

Strange times

Today I'm listening to: "Funnel of Love" by Sqürl

New Year. I don't feel the difference. All the people get quite excited and I just don't understand them. That's a strange time for me. I've experienced some new things. I'm not sure if all of them were great but they definitely were important. They changed me in some way. I get the feeling that I know more, maybe even feel more. So here's to: appreciating beauty of the moment, living, breathing and experiencing.