Today I'm listening to: "Wait" by M83

It is so hard to imagine somebody close to us disappearing. We talk about death a lot but when it comes to an end will we be able to keep peace inside our heads and harts? 

Start over

Today I'm listening to: "The Greatest" by Cat Power

Why do I fall apart every time? I can't find the way across the street. Someone once said "it all depends on who's waitig for you on the other side". I wish that was true. I wish I could have more hope. I wonder if I will ever be able to find inside the person I used to be two years ago. What wolud she do? Is it possible to start over although it is so hard?

That song says more than thousand words...

Oh Man!

Don't try to wake me in the morning

Today I'm listening to: "Asleep" by The Smiths

Sometimes we wander without a reason. We keep drifting. Lately I feel like this all the time.

That's it. HOLD UP.

Freaks around the world

Today I'm listening to: "If I Were a Boy" by Beyonce

Why do we try to reach perfection if we know that It's jus unreachable. Do really our mistakes form past state who we are right now? Why our mistakes and the ones that others madde keep chasing us like snow white ghosts? I really can't understand that all. Hope there are some freaks like me in this World.

Today I'm listening to:

Today I'm listening to: "Stay" by Michelle Featherstone 

Void

Today I'm listening to: "Paul" by Big Thief

So many things bring various emotions. You never know before you try it. I guess that we are getting lost at some point and it is so tough to come back to the time that we worried just a little and not too much. A very smart person once wrote "Life has a gap in it. It just does. You don't go crazy trying to fill it like some lunatic." I wish we could always remember these words.

Today I'm listening to: 

Is a common sense our only right way to follow in life? Are there some universal rules for all of us? Is there only one way to go? I can't help but wonder what if looking too far back may cause some damage in the future. I tend to remind myself over and over some negative memories. It is so wrong so why does it keep on coming? I wish I could save in my heart only good images. Till I reach this poin I just have to deal with it. 

Today I'm listening to: Runaway by Leighton Meester

Right now,

I have a lighter and nothing to light,

I have a bed and nobody to share it with,

I have many people around me but none of them is you,

I feel lonely but I know I will see you soon.

Interruption

Today I'm listening to: "Apocalypse" by Cigarettes After Sex

Everyone needs something to hold on to. Something higher, more powerful. In my case it's love. Nothing matters without it. Nothing. 

There are moments of suspension, interruption but it's ok. It is fine.

What to do?

Today I'm listening to:

Welcome to my head. Crazy, insane and totally messed up. I can't really deal with myself. Fuck. I feel so divergent and oh so unable to do anything creative. I can't help but wonder what if today was our last. Would we really be able to say: yes, that's all that I have ever wanted or maybe we would be devastated. It all makes me think that maybe the best choice is to disappear. Just go somewhere else. After all the life goes on and so do people. 

Love

Today I'm listening to: "Perfect" by Ed Sheeran

Love is such a strong feeling. I can't imagine my life without this one person who makes my life so wonderful. I'm so glad I found him. We really have a thing that is so fragile and one of a kind. I really want this to last forever.

Just Like Heaven

Today I'm listening to: "Just Like Heaven" by The Cure

A week ago I went to the big mall in my area and this wonderful song was played on the radio. I just stopped for these few minutes. Whole World didn't mean a thing. I guess even I wasn't really there. The only thing that mattered was this music. Music about deep deep feelings. Incredible. 

Today I'm listening to "Scentless Apprentice" by Nirvana

We disappear so quickly. We fade away with every moment still being certain of our greatness. Is non omnis moriar really a thing? Isn't it just a hallucination or idealistic vision?

Genius

Today I'm listening to: "Concrete" by Tom Odell

Have you ever noticed, that some people are way ahead of us? They are just timeless, they seem to be from the future. Isn't that for Leonardo, a true renaissance man, that many of the poeple still keep on trying to invent something spectacuar. Wasn't Caravaggio like one of Byron's characters? And finally, isn't Dealcroix still actual? It's incredible that these people could have predicted the future and keep ruling it till now. Or maybe they didn't even suspect their genius? Right now I have on my eye one pearson that might, just might be like them. Try to look around, really. There are some people like this around us.

Homo jealousus

Today I'm listening to: "I'm a bitch" by Meredith Brooks

Being jealous is prabably one of the worst feelings ever. Writing a side story, wondering about these fucking situations. I really hate the world today. 

disappointed

Today I'm listening to: "Dead and Lovely" by Tom Waits

"And now she's dead
Forever dead
Forever dead and lovely now"

Evening everything

Today I'm listening to:

Is it alright to judge the actions without a wider view? Is it possible that one punishment suits to all of the cases? I guess not.