Today I'm listening to: Body Movin' by Beastie Boys
Well, I broke a heart yesterday. I feel so bad about it, I'm so sorry I did this but I had to, because I didn't feel it, I wasn't there 100%, not even 50, 20. Why is it like this, we want something so bad- it doesn't come, we don't really want it - it's at our doorstep. And then once in a blue moon, planets align in the most unexpected way. I'm still waiting for it though. I got validation, I got a love letter, I got kind words. But even though I got it I still treat myself like I'm not enough, like I'm a loser. And maybe we found a root of it all, that still deep inside I'm just unhappy with myself. They say we should take care of ourselves first and only then we can find space for the others. But if that's so, does it mean that we need to wait until we are grey and old to find love. I'm so confused. I was surrounded by so much love and I cry and shed a tear when I see the love. Where have we lost the love for ourselves, for the world, for strangers?
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